i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
