Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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