i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
