she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
