I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize