Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
