don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Come on in and take your pants off
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