I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
