sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
