I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
