We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
