...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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