the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is Oprah even human
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
