i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
