other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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