I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
