I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
