Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
