Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
