I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
