am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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