Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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