You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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