I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
