who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
