there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
