I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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