he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
