Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
