Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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