so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
