I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
