You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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