Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
