That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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