look no pants
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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