dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
