Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
