It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
