You're completely useless in the revolution.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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