Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
