What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
