What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I fill condoms, not promises.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize