You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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