Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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