I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
