nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
