Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
