i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
