Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
