I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
