So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
