I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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