I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize