Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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