3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
