So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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