can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
