sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
