i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
