Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
